What is this thing which guides me and destroys me?
Question:
The first time I knew there was something special about me I was nine years old, it was 1994, I remembered the phone ringing and as soon as it did a thought came to my mind, “Uncle Donald is dead.” I answered the phone and it was Dad, he asked to speak to my mother, soon after he spoke to my mother he broke the news to both Derek and I.
I’ve lived with this all my life and it has tormented me every since because I cannot understand, I do not know where this power comes from and at that it is a weak power nonetheless. I cannot foretell what’s going to happen to me tomorrow or pick the winning lottery tickets, it’s a weak power that can only warn me when there is some type of catastrophe that is going to happen in my life and those around me, it warns me sometime to take action before it happens.
The next time it happened I was in Las Vegas with the family. Derek and Aaron told me to hide from Kendal in the hotel room and I did as they said, Kendall came in the door, “Where is Dustin?” Derek replied, “We don’t know.” I was hiding under the table and in an instant I was hit with a feeling of guilt and remorse and something said, “You’ll never see her again.” I instantly came out from underneath the table to show her I was there.
It happened again years later when I was going to Fort Smith with my grandparents, something said, “Drive the car or there will be a wreck.” I told Grandpa I was going to drive and he allowed me. After we crossed the bridge into Fort Smith a Cadillac barreled down the wrong side of the road and I swerved as quickly as possible averting the impending doom that awaited us.
There are many more stories I’m sure I’ve forgot but those three stand out in my memory. It’s a though a hand has always guided my life preventing misfortune and enabling fortune in other cases, always warning me.
Now in the November of 2008 I had that same feeling the night before all the events that led to my diagnosis of schizophrenia happened. I had this enormous feeling that many will retort as being the delusion of a mad man. But on the day before everything I had this feeling that I was going to be visited by aliens. It filled me with an enormous amount of happiness, I don’t know what for. I had the feeling that I was to be blessed with something divine. It was as if that date was destined for something magnificent to happen. Well, that night passed without anything significant happening. The next morning I felt an incredible joy that I cannot explain in any form, I was beyond cloud nine in my emotions. I listened to Radiohead all day, did a few errands, went to my Mom’s house, a typical day except for the incredible joy I felt.
The next day my computer started popping up with information on the Illuminati, mind control, and a video produced by Retinal Logic called “How to Operate Your Mind” with Timothy Leary. I was bedazzled by the videos on mind control and the Timothy Leary video entranced me. This led to my psychosis, the point before full-blown schizophrenia. I stayed up both night and day watching these videos.
Two days later I was offered a job at a major defense contractor office in Tampa. I was to work in the cyber intelligence division. At this point, I believed that I was being contacted with this position in order to be trained as an Illuminati agent.
I could go on and on about the things I did while under this spell of schizophrenia and it would be entertaining but for the sake of brevity I will tell you that I believe the same thing that has warned me in the past and guided me took a different position and rammed me into a world of insanity. I do not know how this thing works but it can work for you or against you. In my case, it worked both for me and against me. I mean, I am well taken care of now and I am very thankful for that, but I wish there had been an advanced notice of what was going to happen in this case.
Answer:
God works in mysterious ways!
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